The Present Parent: Saying Goodbye to Screen time

5/19/16




Screens. They are everywhere. We are constantly looking at them, checking them, and updating them. Our worlds revolve around a virtual one.

Months back, sitting at a restaurant with my family, my husband motioned over to the woman and her young son next to us. The woman hadn't looked up once from her phone. The little boy was clearly dying for her attention and he tried to show her what he colored, but she couldn't be bothered. I remember feeling hypocritically disgusted.

As I was feeding my toddler lunch, I realized that I had hardly looked at him the whole time. What could have been a fun growing time full of giggles and memories was spent facedown checking social media outlets. I am no different from that woman at the restaurant! Is it a bad thing to be involved in social media and screens? No. But when it takes away from living in the here and now? That's where we have trouble. I fear we are living in a generation of people who will get to the end of this life desperate for a do over. A generation of people praying to go back to be present. To see the memories playing out before them that they didn't look up for.

Being completely transparent: Giving up screen time is tough for all of us. It's the easy way to amuse my son. It gives me the "break" I so desperately crave. I'm never going to be one of those mommas that says screen time should be forbidden, because let's be honest... sanity is also kinda a big deal. I decided to come up with 10 things that we can replace that time with to build memories and cut the addiction.

1. Buy a Zoo Pass: First, I know this is not feasible for everyone. Our family has a very limited budget, but this is something that paid for itself. Our zoo membership (for us and up to six kids!) was only $79. That paid for itself in two visits! It's not easy to go anywhere with a two year old and a 3 month old, but seeing my sons eyes light up when he sees the animals was worth that price alone. Our phones are put away, and we are making memories instead of scrolling through Facebook posts. It's pretty nice being there for his moments instead of reading about others moments.

2. Go outside: Simple as that yet most days it's the last thing I want to do. Our neighborhood is great and has a park PLUS an elementary school's park to take advantage of. For a short walk or drive you can burn off some energy and soak in the giggles. The other day as Liam gleefully giggled across the field to the playground I remember thinking if God sees it fit to take my memories someday, I hope he leaves me with that one. The little boy in all his 2 year old glory grinning ear to ear, dressed in his favorite Mickey Mouse ears, and backpack on as he ran excitedly to the slides.

3. Dance: Turn up the music, dance like a nut, and make a fool out of yourself with your kids. We laugh until our stomachs hurt and my son has become quite the dancing machine!

4. Limit your screentime to naps and bedtime: When your kids are as young as mine, naps are a pretty decent portion of the day. That means I have plenty of time to catch up with friends and family during that period of the afternoon. Personally I'm trying to limit my time when my husband is home as well to make sure I'm putting in a conscious effort to connect with him rather than mindlessly scrolling.

5. Take a mini-cation: Whether this comes through a $10 camping site at the beach or a hotel, make it a point to get away from everything with your family. We just booked a $99 1 night 2 day stay at Great Wolf Lodge and I'm SO looking forward to leaving my phone in the room while we have fun together!

6. Go the the Library: Something I need to take advantage of myself! Before having Liam we were ALWAYS at the library. I'm talking at least once a week! They have free books, movies (even though I'm trying to cut down on that area!), and audio books. Many offer fun events for kiddos throughout the week.

7. Rent some audiobooks: Going from the point above, audiobooks have been great for me lately. They allow me to play with the kids while I listen. Win for everyone.

8. Do a silly workout together: Youtube family workout videos. They are often hilarious and I think I laughed harder watching my two year old try to do the moves than I would ever have laughed at a show. We get exercise and laugh together. It's a blast!

9. Go for a walk: Not sure there's much else to say on this one. Busting out our strollers or wraps and going for a walk seems to lift our moods and reconnect us.

10. Color: They make coloring books for adults now, folks! Sit down with your kiddos and color! It's a blast, it relives stress, and your kid will LOVE spending that time with you.


Personally? I'm going to make it a point to be here. In this moment. In this life. I want to be present. I refuse to get to the end and say "Man, I wish I would have been there." Does it mean we won't spend anytime in front of our phones and television? No way! It means that I will make a conscious effort to spend more time interacting with people in person than I do with my phone as my third hand. My kids will hopefully never feel like their mommy has more important things to do than be with them.

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